Drawing Board

"Again, I’m questioning my place – I guess this process will expire when I do."

I know what I'm good at and what I'm passionate about, but as the world changes, so does my aim. The good thing is that my overall mission will always have a place. My mission is to live, express and lend a helping hand. Part of what's been holding me back is that I have not yet built a solid foundation in what holds me together. I am working on strengthening my faith and relationship with God (the Creator). Lately things have been adding up and I'm learning how important is it to trust myself. I'll never allow myself to drift off into the abyss of hopelessness and allow my dreams to perish—they were given to me for a reason. The issue for me is and has always been, weeding through the confusion of conflicting desires— those of the spirit and those of the flesh. However, we can learn great lessons from our physical experiences that can help us grow spiritually; carnal desires can reinforce our need to embrace spirituality. That said, the spirit and the flesh are not always enemies, but a force working together to bring us to closer to a state of consciousness that the Universe or God approves of. In most cases our desires are not our own, but the end result of conformity, complacency, dogma or brainwashing. 

This week I purchased tickets to attend a girls empowerment breakfast in NYC hosted by Yandi Smith-Harris and a panel of distinguished businesswomen. I'm looking forward to this event as a networking opportunity. More importantly, I'm looking forward to being around motivated young women who can help me re-energize the dreams I have. I'm looking forward to hearing what has kept these women motivated; how they fought off anxieties and depression; how they learned to implement changes in the areas of their lives they could control, leaving the things they couldn't in God's hands. To conclude, I believe I have all I need at this moment and I believe that whatever I'm lacking, God's preparing. So here I am again, at the drawing board. However, all is not lost. I have made a way for myself. I'm a 24-year-old (turning 25 in February) on a soul-searching mission to conquer herself. I'm educated, compassionate, hardworking and driven. I may have taken a few detours, but it was all worthwhile and a necessary part of the journey. There's more to learn. I'm just getting started.