It's a New Year
I've decided to start blogging more often. A lot has happened in my life & I feel I could have been expressing myself through the blogs instead of on Facebook. I feel I should be building more into my vision for myself and the messages I've always wanted to share. Writing has always been the best tool for me to express myself. In HS, I wrote about things I was dealing with. I didn't always speak my mind, but I definitely was open and said whatever I needed to say, and most of the time it was something deep and "preachy." That's how I got the nickname "Mase"-- the popular rapper from Harlem who left the rap game to become a pastor...to later become a rapper again. Since I was always "preaching," that was the nickname given to me by my classmate (and class clown) Ramon . I'm back on the blog because there's some changes I need to make.
As I'm writing this, I'm a little unsure of myself. I hate when I express myself and then feel bad about it. I guess I look for validation, or expect the things I say and feel to always be received and understood.
I just hate feeling misunderstood, and I just choose not to express too much on social networks because I feel I can't have the kind of conversation I would want to thoroughly explain myself. Maybe feeling the need to explain is the problem. This is a lesson I still have to work through. I am also struggling in my faith of walking the narrow path, but I'm grateful for the understanding God has given me. I feel blessed.
It's a new year, and I'll be 22 soon. All seems to be going well. The future looks promising, but also very challenging. The good thing is that I have been faced with some challenges the last couple years. Ones that took a lot from me mentally and caused me to seek a grounded spiritual foundation. I have grown a lot in my life, especially in regards to friends and associates, but I still find myself in a weird space. Sometimes, just not really knowing exactly where I stand in life. I know that either our minds are stronger than we give them credit, or I'm just not sure yet how to use the talent/gifts I've been given. I'm currently not sure what to think, because a a lot is n my mind, but I'll update this as soon as I'm back to my normal self. Things are just weird at the moment. I don't know how to feel. Until I find a better image to leave you with, the one below I took this fall at New Paltz will have to do. It's one of my favorites.
I just hate feeling misunderstood, and I just choose not to express too much on social networks because I feel I can't have the kind of conversation I would want to thoroughly explain myself. Maybe feeling the need to explain is the problem. This is a lesson I still have to work through. I am also struggling in my faith of walking the narrow path, but I'm grateful for the understanding God has given me. I feel blessed.
It's a new year, and I'll be 22 soon. All seems to be going well. The future looks promising, but also very challenging. The good thing is that I have been faced with some challenges the last couple years. Ones that took a lot from me mentally and caused me to seek a grounded spiritual foundation. I have grown a lot in my life, especially in regards to friends and associates, but I still find myself in a weird space. Sometimes, just not really knowing exactly where I stand in life. I know that either our minds are stronger than we give them credit, or I'm just not sure yet how to use the talent/gifts I've been given. I'm currently not sure what to think, because a a lot is n my mind, but I'll update this as soon as I'm back to my normal self. Things are just weird at the moment. I don't know how to feel. Until I find a better image to leave you with, the one below I took this fall at New Paltz will have to do. It's one of my favorites.
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